Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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