Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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