Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
