hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
