I wannas sexs uuuuu
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
