So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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