You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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