ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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