genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
my being single is dangerous.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
