dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
