All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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