if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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