sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
