I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
