U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
