I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
