I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
