you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
