I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
