I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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