Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
