its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
nutella sex= disaster
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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