I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I cut my penus on the lid.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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