I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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