Having a random hookup so left but love u
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
