O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
