For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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