I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize