He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize