just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
