Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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