And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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