It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
