If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This is the high leading the old right now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
