Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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