so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
