I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
