So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
as a side note pls kill me
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
