I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
