u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
