I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
