Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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