problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
