I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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