they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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