I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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