i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
