One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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