Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
