Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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