i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
