no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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