i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
