well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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