i think i have herpe
just one?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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