i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
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Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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