I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
