so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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